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From my journal:  December 2008

Every year I promise myself that I won’t let Christmas sneak up on me.  I’ll plan way ahead.  I’ll have my cards sent, my presents wrapped, and my goodies baked by the first week of December.  That goal seems a bit short-sighted.  I’ve never achieved it.

This year is different.  My energy is increasing a bit.  The new meds and supplements I’ve been subscribed seem to be working.  I seem to be feeling pretty good but there is a nagging thought in the back of my brain. . . “How long can I function like this?  I have less than one-fourth of my kidney function left.  How much time do I have before I’m dragging myself around?  I’ve got a lot to do and not much time left to do it.”

The holiday season is frantic enough without any extra sense of urgency going on.  I find myself doing errands and silently seething to myself, “People – get out of my way!  I have things to do and not a lot of time to do them!”  Of course, on the outside I was all smiles and “Merry Christmas” to everyone.  Talk about being two-faced.

One morning, while on my way to work, it was just God and me in the silent car.  Because I live in a more rural area, I don’t always get radio reception clearly until I’m closer into town.  I poured out my frustration to Him.  He heard me.  He reminded me that there is really no reason to rush because he made me to be an eternal being.  In fact, we’re all eternal beings.  If we choose to follow Him, we have eternal blessing.  If we choose to go our own way, without Him, we’ll have eternal agony.  But one way or another, we will live eternally.   So, in light of that, I’ve got plenty of time.  And when you look at it with that perspective, there’s no urgency.  He’s already planned out my days.  Fretting over it will not bring one ounce of joy to my life.  In fact, fretting over it wastes my time and I’ve got much better things to do.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-14

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God. 

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.  God does it so that men will revere Him.

To be continued. . .