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What’s The Rush?


Want to start at the beginning?  Read:  part1  part 2  part 3

From my journal:  December 2008

Every year I promise myself that I won’t let Christmas sneak up on me.  I’ll plan way ahead.  I’ll have my cards sent, my presents wrapped, and my goodies baked by the first week of December.  That goal seems a bit short-sighted.  I’ve never achieved it.

This year is different.  My energy is increasing a bit.  The new meds and supplements I’ve been subscribed seem to be working.  I seem to be feeling pretty good but there is a nagging thought in the back of my brain. . . “How long can I function like this?  I have less than one-fourth of my kidney function left.  How much time do I have before I’m dragging myself around?  I’ve got a lot to do and not much time left to do it.”

The holiday season is frantic enough without any extra sense of urgency going on.  I find myself doing errands and silently seething to myself, “People – get out of my way!  I have things to do and not a lot of time to do them!”  Of course, on the outside I was all smiles and “Merry Christmas” to everyone.  Talk about being two-faced.

One morning, while on my way to work, it was just God and me in the silent car.  Because I live in a more rural area, I don’t always get radio reception clearly until I’m closer into town.  I poured out my frustration to Him.  He heard me.  He reminded me that there is really no reason to rush because he made me to be an eternal being.  In fact, we’re all eternal beings.  If we choose to follow Him, we have eternal blessing.  If we choose to go our own way, without Him, we’ll have eternal agony.  But one way or another, we will live eternally.   So, in light of that, I’ve got plenty of time.  And when you look at it with that perspective, there’s no urgency.  He’s already planned out my days.  Fretting over it will not bring one ounce of joy to my life.  In fact, fretting over it wastes my time and I’ve got much better things to do.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-14

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God. 

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.  God does it so that men will revere Him.


To be continued. . .


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The Story Begins



From my journal:  October 28, 2008   9:30 pm

Today is Tuesday. I am being referred to a  Nephrologist.   The diagnosis – Stage 4 Renal Failure.

The doctor will  try to keep me as healthy as possible until my kidney transplant.  She guesses I have 5 years or less until I will need a new kidney. 

Will I die of kidney failure like my sister did at age 35?  What will my family do?  I have a lot of things that I want to do.  Will I even feel well enough to do them?  I feel tired.

October 29, 2008 3:00am

I am awakened by my own tears.  As I sit on the side of the bed,  I start to remember the dream I was having.  It was a strange dream.  One of those dreams that begins as a memory of a real event but morphs into something different.

It began with a memory of a little girl I had seen in a store.  She was shopping with her grandmother.  When the cashier asked  “How are you today sweetheart?”, the little girl responded, “I’m blessed, thank-you”.  In my dream the scene started out with the cashier and the little girl, but then morphed into me being the little girl and God being the cashier.

“How are you today, sweetheart?”  asked God.

“I’m blessed, thank-you”, I responded. 

I’m blessed. I am so blessed.  I am blessed beyond anything I could ever have imagined.  He is with me.  He cares about me.  I am blessed.  

The story continues. . .

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