August 10, 2018

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve quoted this verse during the past 9 nights since the extensive, 16 hour cancer surgery I had.

The days have been long but the nights have been longer.  In a teaching hospital, people are working and learning 24 hours a day.  So, that means the patients are being worked on and learned on 24 hours a day.

The benefit is that you have lots of eyes on you to pick up on any issues that might pop up.  The disadvantage is that all of those eyes belong to medical staff that ask you questions over and over again and poke needles into you.

For awhile, I wasn’t aware of the rhythm of the day except that I got pain meds every 4 hours.  As I woke up more, I began to understand how things worked and I struggled to rest in God’s provision for me.

I just wanted to sleep.  I just wanted to be pain free.  I just wanted people to stinkin’ leave me alone.

I think I managed to be graceful and grateful about everything except the one bedpan incident which will not be spoken about.

But what I needed was around-the-clock care.  I needed for people to monitor me.  I needed people to stick me and talk to me and medicate me and help me to the potty.

During the long nights, I would imagine the Lord surrounding me and protecting me.  It’s one thing to declare that I am resting in God’s care.  It’s an entirely different thing to actively do it minute by long minute.

Let me repeat that again (for my own good):

It’s one thing to declare that I am resting in God’s care.  It’s an entirely different thing to actively do it minute by long minute.

Lord, you know my anxious thoughts.  Thank you for surrounding me with your loving care and safety.  Hold me and reassure me during the dark and scary times.  Help me to remember that you have placed people around me to take care of my needs and be a thankful and grateful and patient.