August 24, 2018

The moon woke me up this morning.  0-dark-hundred.  A giant spotlight shining through my bedroom window to rouse me from my fitful sleep.

I marveled at God’s creation and how it’s appearance changes night by night.  Those thoughts led me to thankfulness for many other things including the blessings that have been pouring down on me lately.

I often feel guilty about God’s blessings on my life.  Why me?  Why am I favored?  How do I deserve this?  I’m just a regular person, running this race called life.

Then I thought about a phrase, “Stay in your lane”.  I’ve written it down several times in the past few years.  It’s usually a reminder for me to keep on the path that God has planned for me and stay focused.

Reminders that I’ve written in my journal read something like:  “Don’t veer into someone else’s path and try to fix them.”   “Don’t jump into a lane that isn’t yours to run in.”   “Don’t try to look backward while in your lane or it will only slow you down.”  “God doesn’t want us to carry burdens with us while we run this race”.

Don’t, don’t, don’t.  My stubborn heart doesn’t like “don’ts”.  It wants a to-do list.

So, I will redirect:

1.  Run girl, run!  (1 Corinthians 9:24)
2.  Travel light (Hebrews 12:1)
3.  Look straight ahead (1 Corinthians 9:26)
4.  Press on (Philippians 3:13,14)

I realized that when I run in my lane that was specifically created for me, I am obeying God.  If my focus is straight ahead and looking at Him then I can press on and not get distracted.  That’s when I experience those blessings.

His provisions.  His healing.  His encouragement.  How many blessings have I missed because I wasn’t in my lane?  How many did I miss because I was glancing backwards or distracted by something heavy I was carrying?

I still struggle with the guilt thing.  I’m thinking it’s a weight I need to throw down so I can run faster.

Ok, I just had to laugh at myself because all of the running I’ve been talking about is something I can’t actually, physically do.  I can barely hobble to the bathroom right now.  But a girl can dream, can’t she?!

Lord, you have planned my path and it is good.  You know what lies ahead and you are cheering me on.  Help me to focus on you and run towards you.  I don’t want to get off track.  I don’t want to get weighed down.  I don’t want to stumble over the guilt of being blessed by you.  Help me to run the race you have set before me.