May 26, 2018

“Follow God’s example in everything you do, because you are His dear children.  Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave Himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins.  And God was pleased, because that sacrifice was like sweet perfume to Him.” Ephesians 5:1-2

Lord, how is it that you love me and you have surrounded me with other people who love me?  How do I deserve this attention and affection?

Truly, it is grace showing up when I need it the most.  How is it that I have peace – and even joy- during a time like this?  It is all you, Lord.

My brain can hardly take it in.  I do have tears occasionally, but they are tears from being completely overwhelmed by your love and goodness.

I don’t ask “why me” about the cancer.  I ask “why me” about your love and compassion.  I know you will use this to refine me.  I know you will use this to refine others.  I know this will be good because you are good.

May 27, 2018

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him.  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord.  He is a double minded man – unstable in all he does.  James 1:5-7

This verse has been rolling around n my mind today.  “If any of you lacks wisdom, she should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to her.”

Oh, I need wisdom alright.  Wisdom to make the right choices of doctors and treatment.  Wisdom to listen to my body and rest when I need to.

But then verses 6 and 7 challenge me.  “But when she asks, she must believe and not doubt, because she who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind.  That girl should not think she will receive anything from the Lord.  She is a double minded gal – unstable in all she does.”  Ouch!

Lord, forgive me for the times I ask you for wisdom and clarity but then second guess your answer to prayer.  You want what is best for me – I know that.  Help my faith be stronger than my doubts.  Help me remember your faithfulness that has never let me down.  Help me to believe you and not dwell on “what ifs”.

Great is your faithfulness.

May 28, 2018

“Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Colossians 3:17

Overwhelmed.  That is the only word I can think of that describes what I’m feeling this morning.  But it is overwhelmed in a good way – not a bad way.  My daughters created a Facebook group called “Kelly’s Tribe” to keep our friends and family updated so they can pray for me.  The response was tremendous and people all over the country chimed in with words of love and support.

I feel like I’m reading about someone else, though.  Who is this person they are writing about?  Certainly not me.  Not this girl.  It must be someone else.

But it is me.  It’s me walking through the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23) with my Savior next to me and my tribe of prayer warriors watching and waiting and praying.

Lord, who am I that you would be mindful of me?  Who am I that you would put a tribe of people together to shower me with love and talk to you in prayer on my behalf?

Who am I?  I know I am your child.  I know I am someone you died for to pay for my sins and give me a hope and a future.  I know I am chosen by you – that ‘s who I am.

Lord, this tribe of people you have brought together is a blessing to me.  Please bless them and their families.  Let them see your mighty hands at work in my life.  Draw them close to you as they pray for me.  Draw them close to each other as they pray for our family.

Overwhelmed, Lord.  I’m overwhelmed by your goodness and your provision for me.  Overwhelmed by your love for me.  Overwhelmed by my love for you.  In this scary, beautiful, awful, amazing time in my life I couldn’t feel more loved than I am right now.  Thank you, Lord.