May 13, 2018
“Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.” Psalm 40:5
Today is Mother’s Day. Every year I think back to all of the women who have had a role in “mothering” me. Grandmas, aunts, neighbors, step-mothers, teachers, women at church.
All of them tended to the garden of my life in some way. Some fed me, some watered. Some weeded. Some built structure into my life. Some pruned. Some made mistakes and some neglected the garden. They all had an influence on my life.
Now, I find myself in the role of garden tending. I hope I have been a faithful gardener but I know I, too, have made plenty of mistakes. I pray that God would use those mistakes for good- because I know He will.
Lord, I am so grateful for the women you put into my life to tend to me. Those role models who showed me how to be a wife, mother, friend, and child of God. Help me to tend wisely to other young gardens. Help me to speak your words of life and not be afraid to get my hands dirty.
May 14, 2018
“God is greater than our hearts and knows all things.” 1 John 3:20
I made a list of people to call this week. There are a lot of people I want to tell, personally, about this new journey I’m about to go on. These people are family or friends who feel like family. This news will shock them and worry them.
But one thing I know – I know it will send many of them to their knees in prayer. It will be the gathering of dozens of prayer warriors who will go to God on my behalf.
Some of my family members and friends don’t know the Lord and I pray that as they watch me go through this they will see the light of Jesus and be prompted to have a relationship with Him.
Lord, I don’t want this journey to be in vain. I want to learn and grow through this. I want others to learn and grow through this. Show me how to do this – and how do it well. Please use this for good – I know you will. Protect us from the lies of the enemy. The lies that discourage us and try to defeat us. You are our living hope and our source of peace. Lord, don’t let this be about me, but let it point people to you. Let it be big, Lord. Bigger than me.
May 15, 2018
“What can we say about all this? If God is on our side, can anyone be against us? ” Romans 8:31
I don’t like to make people cry. But the problem is. . . I tend to be a sympathetic crier – so when people cry. . . I cry. It’s one big cry fest.
I’m in the process , this week, of telling friends and family about my diagnoses. I try to be as mater-of-fact as possible while also telling them that I have peace about it and that, for now, I feel perfectly fine.
But then it happens. I can see in their eyes the moment their brain goes from disbelief to reality. And then the tears come. And then my tears start – again. They want to help me. Fight for me. Fight with me. Feed me.
I’m so very blessed to have people around me who love me and want to help me. It’s not easy for me to accept help. I like to be the helper. The giver. But this journey is going to have heavy luggage with it and I’m going to need some help carrying it.
Lord, help me to be humble and allow others to enjoy the blessing of being able to be your hands and feet to me. May all of the tears strengthen our relationships and draw us closer to each other.