September 20, 2018

I can feel it today in my oh-so-weak-muscles.  Yup, I probably overdid it yesterday.  But, it felt so good to be working again.  A full day.  A full day with no nap or having to lay down.

A few weeks ago I was dreaming about yesterday.  I was feeling sorry for myself and wondering if I would ever get my strength and stamina back to simply sit at a desk and do paperwork and take care of details and go to meetings.  You know – like a normal person.

I was feeling sorry for myself because I lost my perspective.  I was confusing what I do with who I  am.  Mixed up about what I could accomplish instead of focused who I am becoming.

So who am I?  If my health and energy is gone, what is my purpose?  If my ability to drive and work is absent, what is my worth?  If I don’t have a daily to-do list, am I of any value to anyone?

I ended up needing to get an attitude check and I found it in Ephesians.

First, God reminded me that He’s the one with the muscle.  He’s the one doing the work in my life.

He reminded me that He has chosen me (Ephesians 1:4).  He lavishes His riches on me (Ephesians 1:7).  He works everything out (Ephesians 1:11).  His power is at work through me (Ephesians 1:19).  He does it all.

So, what’s my part?  I get to become what He wants me to become.

I get to believe (Ephesians 1:13).  I get to have wisdom and revelation, knowledge and insight from Him (Ephesians 1:17-18).  I get to be rooted and established in love (Ephesians 3:17).  I get to learn about being humble and gentle.   Patient and loving and peaceful. (Ephesians 4:2).  I get to grow spiritually (Ephesians 4:13).

It’s not a to-do list.  It’s a be-come list.  I get to be still in His presence and look for what is to come.

I’m reminded that this was a season of healing.  Physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  You can’t go through something major like this without it affecting every cell of your being.

I welcome the sore muscles today because I know that yesterday was a big step physically.  The spiritual and emotional muscles feel a little sore too, but in a different way.  My new attitude feels more like a good stretch after a long work-out.  Preparing my mind to focus on how God wants me to be-come.

Lord, you deserve all glory and honor.  Forgive me for the times I have put too much focus on doing and not on being.  Forgive me for thinking you are more concerned about what I can do for you than spending time with you.  Thank you for slowing me down so I could learn these lessons and redirect my thoughts.  Thank you for loving me enough to interrupt my regularly scheduled to-do list and invite me to have a new attitude that focuses on you and what you have planned.  I love you, Lord.