June 21, 2018
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Every morning when I wake up it is still there. My distended abdomen is evidence of the cancer that is growing inside of me every day. This symptom of peritoneal cancer is jokingly called Jelly Belly – like some 3rd grade joke – Kelly has a jelly belly.
While my abdomen gets bigger, the rest of me gets smaller and I work hard to try to keep up my muscle strength. I must be as physically strong as I can be before having surgery and chemo.
This waiting time is difficult – I won’t lie. The days seem very long and sometimes the nights do too.
But then God. . . Don’t you love that phrase? But then God gives me His perspective. As my body is wasting away because of the cancer, my mind and spirit are being renewed.
Each day, as I spend time with God, He renews me by reminding me that I belong to Him and He is in control. As I walk through this cancer valley, He is with me.
Because I belong to Him, this dark time is momentary. My body, with all of its flaws and scars is not the real me. It is my temporary housing while I’m alive. What I will experience in eternity can’t even remotely compare to my best days on this earth.
The David Crowder Band sang a song several years ago that had a phrase in it that hits the nail on the head. “Afflictions eclipsed by glory”. This affliction is temporary and it doesn’t define who I am. It can’t compete with what God is doing in my life and what He has prepared for my future.
Lord, you are preparing some amazing things for me. Thank you for loving me and giving me your perspective. Your glory is so much greater than any illness. I will fix my eyes on you. Help me to not get distracted by this disease. Renew my mind and spirit every day as I spend time with you. Show me your glory.