I’ve been struggling lately with talking. Not physically being able to talk. Just struggling with if I should talk.
The Lord has been teaching me the fine balance of letting words out or keeping them in.
If I’m tuned in to how the Holy Spirit is leading me, it’s usually not a problem. But I get in trouble when I go on auto-pilot. My default mode is usually to let whatever thought pops up in my head tumble out of my mouth like some weird gum ball machine.
To verify my struggle, friends and family often ask me if I’m feeling OK if I haven’t said 216 words in the previous hour. They are used to me saying a lot of words even if some of the words are “I’m sorry” words for some of the words I said. See the struggle? Ugh!
So what’s a girl to do if she can’t talk?
I think she’s supposed to listen.
Yup, I’m pretty sure listening is recommended.
If I listen more than I talk, I can learn a lot of things. I can peek into what is going on in other’s lives so I can pray for them or help them. That’s good!
If I listen more than I talk, I am pretty much guaranteed that I won’t have to apologize so much for words I said. That’s a plus!
If I listen more than I talk, I leave room for the Holy Spirit to speak. That’s the cherry on top!
I have personally observed this when hanging out with someone recently. Someone I had just met was talking to me and instead of listening well, I was gathering my thoughts to share my “wisdom” with her. As I got ready to speak, the Holy Spirit stepped in and shut my mouth. It wasn’t my turn. It was His.
I watched with tears in my eyes as this new friend was overcome by the insight she had just received from the Lord. It was His wisdom that had been a special delivery to her and I got to watch. If my yap-trap had been going, I would have interrupted the moment.
Lord, set a guard over my mouth. Help me to listen when I should and speak when you direct me to. Guide me as you refine me each day to be more like you.